"I Quit My Job Because of Him"

When Did You Realize It was Love? 

 

I keep talking to my friends about him and I miss him when I don't see him.

What Did It Feel Like?

It was like heaven! It's my first time to feel that way! I can't describe it. Nobody knows that feeling except me. I finally understood what love is. It's like you don't care at all. You care for another person's happiness more than your own no matter how painful the choices you face might be.

What Happened Next?

I don't have the confidence to tell him what I feel. Besides, it's forbidden! He's very thoughtful and caring and sweet. He made feel that I'm mature even though he's 9 years older than me. But that reason is not enough for me to confess my feelings. He always made me laugh. I can fell that he treated me very special but I guess that's just the way he is to everyone. I quit my job because of him. The most difficult decision I've made. It hurts a lot. I even cried when he found out and he talked to me. He's always asking why? I never tell him the reason. I want to go away from him because I don't like what I'm feeling. It doesn't work. I miss and think of him more and more. He keeps on sending me messages which I can't ignore. I guess he's doing fine without me. Then one day, I heard from a friend of mine that he is leaving. He will go back to the place where he considered as his home. Very far away from me. When I found out i drunk a lot! That's the first time I ever get drunk. I remember during that night I wrote a letter for him and gave it to my friend to send to him. After I woke up the next day, i can't even remember what I wrote. I have no idea at all. And then my friend called to invite me to the airport. That would be the last time that I'm gonna see him but I didn't go. I can't explain what I feel at that moment. Mix emotion. I said to my self that it would be the best for the both of us. He didn't even text or call me to say goodbye. He didn't even say thank you to the present and the letter that I gave. And then one day, he chatted me and tell me everything. He said he feels bad when I didn't show up to the airport. He wanted to see me. He feels bad when my friend gave him my present because he expect that it was me who will give it personally. He explained why he didn't say goodbye and thank you. He wants me to be there to say it personally to me. He said his heart was very heavy, he didn't want to leave like that. We've seen each other for 4 months everyday. Talk a lot of things. It's not easy to say goodbye. I cried a lot. Almost every night. I wish he knew... It's tough but I'm trying to get used to it. Hope his doing fine too...

Lessons Learned

* Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say goodbye. *Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have. * You can't hurry love, you just have to wait. *It's okay to wait. I will wait for him until I don't have reason to wait anymore.